After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have aggressive nipples.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
