Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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