U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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