We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
