ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
