So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
