i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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