I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
