I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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