Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
