butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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