I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
