I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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