When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.