Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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