my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help