We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.