so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
