Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize