bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
