no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
