The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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