Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
