Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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