In the future we'll all be gay
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
