i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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