Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
