After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize