why didn't you poke me back
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
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I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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