Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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