This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
