I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
