Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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