smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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