piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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