dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
