so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You need Xanax blowdarts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
