i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
