So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize