Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
