so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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