I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
