Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
