Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
