all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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