I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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