O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
