On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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