erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.