I think scott just propositioned me for sex
one two three fourrrrnication!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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