Say something about gay babies.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
