It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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