Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize