I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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