Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry about my life...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
