Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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