My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
