Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to make out with him forever
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
