lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
