I'm lost and stupid without you.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
