Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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